Wednesday, August 3, 2011

10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

found a great post.. worth sharing..

10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits.
Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

1. Stop jumping to conclusions.
There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

2. Don’t dramatize.
Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.

3. Don’t invent rules.
A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations.
The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

5. Quit being a perfectionist.
Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

6. Don’t over-generalize.
One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

7. Don’t take things so personally.
Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy.
How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic.
If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

10. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all:
Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.
let go and move.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

understand yourself first

Understanding ourselves.. that's the toughest part.

If we know what we are and what we really want we will definetely get it. But then, understanding ourselves.. :) That's the first step to progress.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Not a new post,

Just to add on to my last post. Not very sure if the message was mis understood.

Kids should be brought up to be self-reliant , be it girl or boy.
Super-man does not exist in real life. They should not grow up with the false impression that some Saviour or fairy god mother will come some day and change their lives.
Thats what i was trying to say. Hope i made it clear now.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Say no to cinderella dreams

I often listen to this cinderella song by Tata young, It always makes me feel so happy- empowered actually. Regret i missed it 10 years back- when i was dreaming my own Cinderella dreams. Well, i believe everyone be it baby girl or baby boy should grow up to be confident , self-sufficient individuals. That always helps in the long run. When they are at peace with themselves they can do so much to help others as well.

Why i wanted to share this because, this is the sad reality with which every little girl is brought up with. Every mom dreams of a prince in shinning armour for her daughter who will slay her dragons and protect her. Ha..ha..ha... well, some might find their prince. Many a times all little girls grow up and stand staring at their dragons all alone. Every mom knows it. Then why not stop poisoning young minds with expectations of a saviour when they themselves can be one. Let's bring up little ones with confidence to take care of themselves and people around them.

by the way, the lyrics are as below-

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed
And she read me a story
It always was about a Princess
In distress and how a guy would save her
And end up with the glory

I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sitting in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White, waitingFor a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

Someday I'm gonna find someone
Who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand
I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me

(I will be)
I will be there for him
Just as strong as he will be there for me
When I give myself then
It has got to be an equal thing


I can slay my own dragon
I can dream my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free

(Like Cinderella
Old dusty cellar)
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free
I don't want to be like Snow White, waiting
For a handsome prince to come and (save me x6)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

what's the rush!

Found a good lesson! Just wanted to Share..