10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

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10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits.

Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

1. Stop jumping to conclusions.

There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

2. Don’t dramatize.

Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.

3. Don’t invent rules.

A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations.

The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

5. Quit being a perfectionist.

Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

6. Don’t over-generalize.

One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

7. Don’t take things so personally.

Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy.

How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic.

If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

10. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all:

Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

let go and move.

Investing on People,Investing on Life

"Practice makes it perfect" so is the saying. Every art, every act in life needs that maintenance time. Needs that proper input to get the desired output. So are the people around us.

Everything goes by Newton's third law :-) true that is. You sow so u reap...

We need to give proper time to everything which we desire to shape so are human relationships.

We listen to people who we trust. We obey people who we believe. It is all about the feelings between two minds. We all know human relationships are the most complex ones. Hence if we really need happy helping people around us- we first need to sow- sow the seeds of love and trust. This is not easy. It takes lots of self-discipline. Lots of motivation and real interest.


We are prone to imperfections, we are prone to moods. It is impossible to be nice all the time.



If we had built our relationships strong enough , then we can be whatever we are and be loved by our people. How do we do that- just three easy steps

Walk your talk:
People hate hypocrites. Our views should be in line with our acts. This builds your reputation. I always honestly believe every human being has his or her own unique talent- irrespective of it- even if you are the most untalented person, people will still respect you if you live in line with your words. Simple example - Never criticize your kid for not switching off the light when you yourself leave it on sometimes when you leave [even sometimes]. Never boost about yourself anytime. It kills your reputation very badly even if you miss just once to live up to it. People will go by your words when evaluating you.

Keep your promises:

Life is tough and many times in our struggles we tend to become selfish. Many a times. We tend to lie, we to cheat and get away with what we want. This never gives us a lasting victory. What makes people to happily obey you is how much do they trust you. It is always based on how many happy moments you created in their life's, its based on how many times you kept your promises!

Never talk behind anybody's back:

This is one major problem with people. When we cannot get our way, or when we cannot speak our heart out directly we tend to back bite. Its a difficult thing to stop doing that, yet it always good to try and minimize us much as we can. To do that we either have to have the courage to tell the person straight how they are hurting you and try to resolve it. Or find another means of activity to vent out our hard feelings. When we talk bad about someone to say your friend X. There is no doubt that this X will think whether you will talk about him to somebody else like that. Even tough not obvious this thought will be in your friend's mind somewhere deep inside.

Never judge people/Nor label them:

Everybody thinks highly of our own selves- It is human nature, but then the truth can be something else. Yet we tend to evaluate others based on our own biased mind set. We will obviously never see them in proper perspective. There are many shades to every person. Even if you judge never treat anybody meanly.

Listen. Truly and with Love:

When we talk we always half listen- rest of our mind is set on thinking what to say when our turn comes. This stops us from understanding properly what the other person is saying. Also when we listen, our views filter what we listen. We listen and understand based on our own thoughts and views. This limits our perspective. When we listen- if we just simply listen- it helps improve our relationships greatly.


Be a happy positive person:
let there be positive vibes about you. People love to be with and follow happy people- who can keep themselves ground and cool and will also be able to provide a good atmosphere around them. Never expect your children to obey you unless you have provided them with a happy trustful environment to obey.
Be Patient:

Finally,There are people whose trust we had broken, whom we had done wrong- the people who kept you close to heart- like a good friend, a distraught spouse/parent/child- whatever we try we cannot build our friendship again unless we try with patience.

People, are the major resource of our life. The output will be absolutely fantastic life if we can invest in people with our time and love, sincerely and with constant patient practise.

Living life today for a regret free tomorrow

The other day i was watching the movie 17 again. It was fun but got me thinking.There are many times in life where we want to go back in time and correct our mistakes. I can say with absolute confidence everybody has this secret desire.If only we could go back and start saving early, go back and choose a different career,life partner etc.. etc..Its true everybody wishes for it.But oh no! that is impossible.Although we love this fantasy with all our hearts that magic is just not possible. But what is possible is try to make the most of this day.THE PRESENT HOUR,MINUTE.
I know very well i cannot come back to this minute again and re-do anything- Hence i constantly keep thinking "what i can do to make this minute great? what i should do now so that i do not want to RE-DO it anytime?". This is very important.These questions show us so many possibilities- Although we cannot do everything so very perfect as we may lack the extra information that future brings, we still can try to give it our best.So that its worth our invaluable time.
Most of the time we look back at our past and grieve about things not done well or missed opportunities and look at the future with worries.Doing this we end up losing our most valuable possesion- our present.This day,this minute- i just want to make it beautiful.I just want it worth remembering later.I have no idea what future brings my way,nor do i want to think and regret about all my roads not taken.I have learnt through hard experience that i should live in today and thats what makes me feel happy and satisfied.I try to give my best today and just leave it at that. I have this quote by Ralph.W.Emerson hung up at my desk
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

Visualize and win

A picture is worth a 100 words goes the saying.People are more attracted to images than to anything else.If i add up some catchy images here with my articles i always get many responses.That easily demonstrates to me that people love visuals rather than mere words.Pictures remain in memory much better than vague words.And this powerful truth can be used to propel our lives to success.
To get what you want, you should know exactly what you want.If you can see it with your mind you can easily grab it into your reality real quickly.To explain i can say - when you see chocolate your cravings make you go buy it.After watching movies people tend to act like their favourite character there for sometime.The effect of visuals is such that it draws immediately all the good and bad memories linked.Makes us happy or sad immediately.

We can attribute all our fears to this visualization.Most of us could have easily experienced it in negative sense.Thoughts of poverty,seperation,loss etc bring glommy visuals to our minds instanteneously.Seeing a black cat, basement,attic etc can bring scary feelings to some.Seeing an images of a waterfall on the other hand can instantly leave few feeling fresh and happy.This happens unconsiously.What i want you to gain from this article is how to effectively use visualization for what we want.Make use of it in a positive sense.And ultimately use it to tell our subconsious mind what we want.
Here are few steps to visualize effectively.



1) Decide on a goal - clear goal.know exactly what you want.Be realistic.Cannot decide i want to be the president of this nation in a week.Nor can be week enough in deciding i want a brand new so an so gadget in a week when u know u have the means(or can find a means) to buy it right away.
-Goals should be challenging enough.
-It should be close to your heart.
-There should be a step by step path to it
Plan a step by step path to it so that it can be broken down to measurable milestones.
I recommend you divide your long term and short term goals.Plan your long term goals in few stages.Mark every stage as a short term goal.Write it down.It always helps me if i write down my goals.

2) Relax: Just like we switch off lights before we sleep, we need to switch off all the fears,anxiety,stress,tension etc from our mind before we visualize.We can close our eyes.Take deep breaths.Push all our worries away and calm our thoughts.Better be in a quiet environment.If soothing music relaxes you,then turn it on.If a gentle scent relaxes you,then light the candle or put an air freshner.Movie creates such a much better visual pleasure in a dark environment[cutting us away from reality].It is the same technique.Some gifted people can relax in any environment when they decide to.Then you dont have to create the effect to relax.Ultimately you should relax.

3) Picturize it: Now give life to your desire.Add a visual image to every one of your goals.If your goal is to visit egypt,then close your eyes and see yourself at the pyramids.Alternatively you can stick a picture of a tourist at the pyramids in a place where it will catch your eye often.Stick it at your desk or on the fridge or on a wish board near your bed.See it often.Stare at it with all the love you have to be there.Sit with the picture in a quiet corner looking at it for few minutes everyday until you get it.Feel like you are there already.

4) Wish it with all your heart:Nothing really reaches us unless we really want it.Pour your inner strength to it- want it with all your heart.Only when our subconsious mind knows what we want it will start attracting it.It is like selective reading,you'll start seeing whatever you had missed before.Your desire should be very strong only then we can really get it.So when we see the image, we should see it with a strong desire.See it and wish it with all our heart.


5) Be ready to receive it: Last but not the least we should be prepared to see our visions come true.We should believe in our dreams and never think we are not good enough for it.Unconsiously all of us underestimate our potential.Everybody secretly is afraid,so when oppourtunities to attain our visions present themselves we walk back instead of grabing it.If we feel we lack some skill needed to fulfill our dream goal then we should update it and wait for the chance.Ready to grab and work towards the goal.We deserve better things and we can make it happen.

Try visualizing one goal at a time.And slowly you will see its tremendous power in helping us achieve our dreams.You can put this to test immediately.Decide on a goal and follow steps 1-5 for 5 or 10 minutes everyday.I recommand put a date on the picture as to when u want it to be true.Do this early morning or just before going to bed.It works for me.Hope it works for you.Goodluck! and May all your dreams come true.

Relationships:Something to cherish for a lifetime!

"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.
Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.


A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.
Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected.


Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."



There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."



It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you."


Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.


Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.



People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

This brilliant article is from Vishal,My fellow blogger and a good friend. You can find more of his inspiring words at vishallive.net, froz3n-desires and latent-aura

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