10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

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10 Golden ways to Improve our quality of Life

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits.

Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

1. Stop jumping to conclusions.

There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

2. Don’t dramatize.

Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.

3. Don’t invent rules.

A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations.

The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

5. Quit being a perfectionist.

Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

6. Don’t over-generalize.

One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

7. Don’t take things so personally.

Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy.

How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic.

If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

10. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all:

Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

let go and move.

How to stop being miserable

There is no stopping our misery as swine flu,ressesion etc run rampant multiplying our everyday's stress,
below are few simple ways to stop our misery and improve our happiness.

1.Stop making issues big.Dont add your imagination to it.Big problems overwhelm and prevent you from solving them.

2.Dont think of it always.It will spoil your mood and prevent u from solving it.Stop being afraid of it.

3.Stop the blame game.Dont blame other people for it.neither should you blame yourself.It only serves to increase your pain.

4.Avoid complaining about it to everybody around you.

5.Dont avoid it and let your problems grow big.A stich in time saves nine.

6.Look at it from another perspective. This may provide you with fresh ideas to solve your problem.

7.Look for help.Look for a solution.There will be people who would have faced the same issues as you.Or there might be professionals specialized at tackling your issue.Never hesitate to look for help.

Inspiring song-Hannah Montana the Movie

I was not a big fan of Hannah montana.Went to the movie just like that and it turned out to be a good decision.Though not impressed by the childish story,yet the inspiring songs recharged me a lot.Mainly "The Climb". I had written a similar poem on this blog Dreams,my Dreams. It touched my heart just as appealing as though it came right out of heart. Every word is wonderful and inspiring.Thanks Disney and Thanks Hannah. I would love to highlight every single word of it :-)

Here I would love to share the inspiration- Lyrics of the song "The Climb" .

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Aint't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no,I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most,yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I,I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Keep on moving,keep climbing
Keep the faith,baby
It's all about,it's all about the climb
Keep the faith,keep your faith,whoa

Thats it- a big tribute to the dreamers of the world. Lets go for it.Lets live our dreams.Lets stick to our faith and face our struggles.

Visualize and win

A picture is worth a 100 words goes the saying.People are more attracted to images than to anything else.If i add up some catchy images here with my articles i always get many responses.That easily demonstrates to me that people love visuals rather than mere words.Pictures remain in memory much better than vague words.And this powerful truth can be used to propel our lives to success.
To get what you want, you should know exactly what you want.If you can see it with your mind you can easily grab it into your reality real quickly.To explain i can say - when you see chocolate your cravings make you go buy it.After watching movies people tend to act like their favourite character there for sometime.The effect of visuals is such that it draws immediately all the good and bad memories linked.Makes us happy or sad immediately.

We can attribute all our fears to this visualization.Most of us could have easily experienced it in negative sense.Thoughts of poverty,seperation,loss etc bring glommy visuals to our minds instanteneously.Seeing a black cat, basement,attic etc can bring scary feelings to some.Seeing an images of a waterfall on the other hand can instantly leave few feeling fresh and happy.This happens unconsiously.What i want you to gain from this article is how to effectively use visualization for what we want.Make use of it in a positive sense.And ultimately use it to tell our subconsious mind what we want.
Here are few steps to visualize effectively.



1) Decide on a goal - clear goal.know exactly what you want.Be realistic.Cannot decide i want to be the president of this nation in a week.Nor can be week enough in deciding i want a brand new so an so gadget in a week when u know u have the means(or can find a means) to buy it right away.
-Goals should be challenging enough.
-It should be close to your heart.
-There should be a step by step path to it
Plan a step by step path to it so that it can be broken down to measurable milestones.
I recommend you divide your long term and short term goals.Plan your long term goals in few stages.Mark every stage as a short term goal.Write it down.It always helps me if i write down my goals.

2) Relax: Just like we switch off lights before we sleep, we need to switch off all the fears,anxiety,stress,tension etc from our mind before we visualize.We can close our eyes.Take deep breaths.Push all our worries away and calm our thoughts.Better be in a quiet environment.If soothing music relaxes you,then turn it on.If a gentle scent relaxes you,then light the candle or put an air freshner.Movie creates such a much better visual pleasure in a dark environment[cutting us away from reality].It is the same technique.Some gifted people can relax in any environment when they decide to.Then you dont have to create the effect to relax.Ultimately you should relax.

3) Picturize it: Now give life to your desire.Add a visual image to every one of your goals.If your goal is to visit egypt,then close your eyes and see yourself at the pyramids.Alternatively you can stick a picture of a tourist at the pyramids in a place where it will catch your eye often.Stick it at your desk or on the fridge or on a wish board near your bed.See it often.Stare at it with all the love you have to be there.Sit with the picture in a quiet corner looking at it for few minutes everyday until you get it.Feel like you are there already.

4) Wish it with all your heart:Nothing really reaches us unless we really want it.Pour your inner strength to it- want it with all your heart.Only when our subconsious mind knows what we want it will start attracting it.It is like selective reading,you'll start seeing whatever you had missed before.Your desire should be very strong only then we can really get it.So when we see the image, we should see it with a strong desire.See it and wish it with all our heart.


5) Be ready to receive it: Last but not the least we should be prepared to see our visions come true.We should believe in our dreams and never think we are not good enough for it.Unconsiously all of us underestimate our potential.Everybody secretly is afraid,so when oppourtunities to attain our visions present themselves we walk back instead of grabing it.If we feel we lack some skill needed to fulfill our dream goal then we should update it and wait for the chance.Ready to grab and work towards the goal.We deserve better things and we can make it happen.

Try visualizing one goal at a time.And slowly you will see its tremendous power in helping us achieve our dreams.You can put this to test immediately.Decide on a goal and follow steps 1-5 for 5 or 10 minutes everyday.I recommand put a date on the picture as to when u want it to be true.Do this early morning or just before going to bed.It works for me.Hope it works for you.Goodluck! and May all your dreams come true.

How to improve our self image with positive affirmations

We are,what we think we are.We are the creators of our own self.If that is the case, why do many of us often use terms like "Fool","Idiot" "Stupid" etc to ourselves.When we say such things are we aware that our subconcious mind is recording it? "Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought. " says Napoleon Hill.So by saying such things often we slowly start to believe them as FACT.

It is the same case if somebody else is drummimg these words into your mind ever so often.Keep away from them because we dont want those words to become our reality.Eventough in reality we know these words are lies, repeating this lie often is enough for us to start to believe it. This is particularly true when a lot of emotion is put into it as is generally the case when we say negative things to ourselves.

The negative self-talk is usually accompanied by feelings of anger, frustration, humiliation, resentment, etc. and often leads to depression. These emotions allow the self-talk to penetrate the sub-conscious mind.
Repeating these sentiments over and over again tricks our mind to believe all those lies and making them into reality.Our mind is the fertile land which can grow whatever we sow into our reality.If we sow good seeds of fruit bearing trees we are rewarded by fruits.But if we allow weeds to grow they grow thorny trees.By this negative self-talk we are planting seeds of weeds all over our fertile land.And finally when harvest time arrives we again see we have nothing but thorns and repeat the vicious negative cycle.

Problem with us is, over the time we get comfortable with our thorns.We conveince ourselves that we are only capable of such a reward.We get comfortable with our poverty,stupidness etc.We never stop to think.We do not realize the worth of our mind.This is the pity.When we have the abundance hidden in us we compromise with our measly lives.We live and die thinking others got lucky in life.They were blessed with smartness while we were not.NO..It is not true.We should not do such a big harm to ourselves.

How can we choose nothingness when we are blessed with abundance? We cannot be our own enemy.So what is to be done? CHANGE OF THOUGHTS. But we dread change.Eventough we want a properous life we do not try to put in the effort required to shift to positive thoughts.Well, it is up to us to decide.If we want our lives to be happy and prosperous we need to make that effort.WE NEED TO STOP NEGATIVE TALKS ABOUT US and USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS ON A DAILY BASIS.


Using positive affirmations regularly will commence the gradual process of the re-conditioning your sub-conscious mind.Weeding our garden will not be easy.We need lots of patience and persistance to do that.To gaurd against negative thoughts regularly needs a lots of focus and attention and a strong resolve to be positive.Once achieved it will shower us with so much abundance we could have never even dreamt about.
Saying positive affirmations such as: “I am rich…I have a healthy body…I am very successful” may seem crazy to someone who doesn’t understand mind dynamics. But even if your present circumstances do not support your positive affirmations, repeating positive affirmations forms an important role in conditioning your sub-conscious to produce the results you desire in your life.

Its not going to be easy- Saying "Iam Rich" when there is next to nothing in our bank account may not seem rational.But we should FAKE TILL ME MAKE it in our minds.Our mind has to believe our positive lies.
Claude Bristol, author of “The Magic of Believing” said,
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”
Napoleon Hill in his ever famous classic "Think and Grow Rich" stresses this fact and dedicates one full chapter [4] for conditioning our brain to achieve what we want to be.He stresses that when we say those positive affirmations we should put all your earnest emotions to those words. Mere words of affirmations will not work. Just as anger and frustration go with negative affirmations to make it true, we need to add faith and a burning desire when we use positive affirmations when we try to change.Words mixed with emotions sure reach our subconcious mind real quickly and they start painting a fresh smart picture of us.Our fruit trees will grow soon and we will taste abundance soon.As long as we believe in it..

Plan for life

There was a great business consultant.His main job was to convert sick companies into rich ones by devising strategies.A CEO of a very successful company read about him and to mock at him called him to his office.Challenged him,saying we are already number one lets see what advise can you give us.The consultant took the challenge.Sat there obsorbing the company's activies for a day.At the end of the day came to the CEO gave him a small piece of paper and left.In a month's time the CEO was all praise of the consultant as the company's profits just doubled.Eager to know what the consultant wrote on the small piece of paper??? "Plan for tommorrow's tasks at the end of each day".This is a much published true story.

We never proceed to build a house without a plan.Banks do not offer loans to entrepreneurs until they present a winning business plan.All manufacturing process,design process,software development process need plans before they are started.Why are plans important to all these processes?
There are many reasons.Few of them are
1) To limit failure
2) To stop drifting or losing focus
3) To get the desired results etc. It has been proven millions of times that processes that are planned and executed have better chances of success then the ones without plans.Now it is just rational to ask, how about the most important process called life? How many of us have any plans at all? Not many.He who fails to plan, plans to fail.Importance of planning our lives cannot be less emphasized.

All of us want to be successful in life.If it is true that success rates increase with a proper plan then why not we plan our lives? I am an excellent example for not planning anything.End result, It takes much time and effort to achieve the same things that others easily do with proper planning. I wasted a lot of time not deciding,postponing.Many are like me.We just drift along. The shortest and the fastest reachable route between two points is a straight line- Only if we know towards which point we are travelling.So when we travel we just take lots of long turns and arrive last.The early bird gets the worms.If we drift along we seldom reach anywhere first.Then we complain about bad luck and misfortune.But if we closely observe the lives of the achievers we can attribute their good furtune to their planning.They planned and prepared themselves for that opportunity and waited for it to happen.And when it eventually happened they made the most of it.It pays to plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

Ask anybody if they would love to go back in time.Everybody would love to. Many of us have something in our past that we could have done better.Such things happen to us because we keep drifting through life.We dont really think of what we want and how to plan for it.If only we had a plan with our dreams we could have done much better.we could have made better choices and our success would have been much better and less difficult.Most of us just go on from day to day doing whatever we had been doing the previous day.Seldom to stop to think what is our objective and how are we progressing towards it.We do not give importance to planning life as much as we give importance to so many other things.That is why whenever i look back in life i end up regretting for all the time wasted.For not aimming properly.For not planning my life.It is only this year that i decided i'll write down my plans.

Writting down our plans in the best way to show our commitment towards our dreams.I recommand we write down our plans and add time lines to them.All of us have big dreams.We all deserve to live our dreams.So why not we plan for the most important process called life.



You may also love to read Basics-of-success and keeping-up-our-cool

Basics of success

1) "The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."

Strong mind: Everyone of us wants to be successful.But merely wishing brings misery and disappointments rather than success.To be successful we should crave for success with all our heart.Will power is the best asset of any human being.With its strength many have achieved miraculous success.Many have won over devastating sickness.Many battles were won with little or not enough man power.Will-power gives us the strength to walk even when the last ounce of energy had left over body.If we decide we will do it, we will do it.That is the power of our will.It is called inner strength.To be successful we need to draw all our inner strength and fight till we are successful.

2) "The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare."

Action: This world recognizes actions rather than words.Actions prove our words.Actions show our commitment to our dreams.They are the steps to success. As the saying goes A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step- everything ultimately boils down to our action.What we do and how we do it.Action involves analysis,planning and execution.When we take up any task we should have a plan.If we are not planning our action, then we are planning to fail.Sometimes our plans may falter.It is then to us to find the defect in our plan,correct it and re-try.The successful commander is somebody who is braver 5 more minutes than his fellow soldiers.Let our actions inspire others to support our journey towards success.

3) "Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand."

Create chances:Everybody waits for their lucky break.And many expect that lucky break called chance will present to them in the form they dream of.In reality chances/opportunities/lucky breaks come and go quietly disguised in many forms.That is why even the ones waiting in alert for their chance also miss it.The best way is to be prepared always and when ready create our own opportunities.Search far and wide for it instead of waiting. Take it in any form it is available and forge it to our desires.That is the greatest secret of successful people.Create chances, do not wait for them.

4) "The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right."

Attention to detail:This is were many of us fail.Classic example is our grade exams- scoring average can be done by the majority, while getting the highest score is real real tough.If you ask the highest scorer his secret will be his attention to detail.It applies to every field in our life.The difference between being average and being successful is the dedication that gives attention to every detail on how to achieve whatever task taken successfully.

5) "Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure."

Re-try:Many of us give up on the slightest signs of failure.It is human nature.We just cannot tolerate failures.We see failures with a mere negative eye.We miss the entire point that failures are god given opportunities to re-try.To do it all over again in a new fashion.If we could only overcome the fear of failure, we are on a right track to success.Watch babies and learn how to overcome failures.They just do not give up until they do it successfully.

6) "Success is not a destination, it's a journey."

Finally, we cannot be successful in life if we are just a "one time success".We need to work harder still to live up to our success.To be on top we need to constantly do better than all our competition.It is like riding a bicycle.If we stop peddling we will fall. To strive constantly comes only if we are passionate about our success.We need to respect our effort and the resulting success,only then we will want more.The good news is, with success comes tremendous confidence.Confidence gives success.Success usually breeds more success.It is a cycle as long as you could put in the required effort and energy.

Throw away worries!

Believe it or not the prime emotion of this world is worry.Everybody is worried about something.And some worry about everything.It is such a pity.People lose a lot of time and energy worrying.Worrying about things that may go wrong is the funniest thing people do.People phantomize even minor obstacles and become their own enemies.This
funniest thing pushes many into such depressing thoughts that lead people to commit suicide etc.This is very annoying.It hurts me to see people sacrificing their own lives to the demons of worry created by their own minds.But those who have lived past their worries and faced the situation know that it was not as bad as they thought.Reality seldom is different from our imaginary difficulties.
Life is like that.We will live through many things.We live past broken relationships,we live after going through bankruptcy.Yes, we still live.Moral- We will somehow live through it.Mankind is blessed with many good emotions like will-power,determination etc.So we will survive,Provided we face our
worries and look through them.Stay there tight and let it pass.It will soon be over.Whenever worries creap into my mind i just ask myself- ok,what next will i
do if this worstcase scenario happens?.I just keep few options open.Like if this thing happens can i salvage anything from the situation? If not, how bad its
going to be and how i can handle that.Thats it.When i see my answers to above questions most of my worries look light.This is one way of throwing worries
away.
Another way is by changing our perspective of any given situation.A change in perspective leaves us with many open doors to explore.Endless solutions
spring in if we could look at the object of our worry in different angles.
I do not say that we should not worry at all.I definetely hate the lazy,carefree person so called worry free stinking stereo types.Worry is good if it pushes us
into constructive action.But we should not get obsessed with worrying.That is the catch.Worrying makes us look at our problems with a magnifying glass.If
we stop doing it our problems would look manageable.That will give us confidence in finding a solution to the problem.Worries stand in the way of our
progress,Throw them away.Walking uphill with a ton of stones is much easier than facing problems with worries.

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Living my life 100 percent this year!

It was my b'day yesterday..

Like everybody else i cant write resolutions on my b'day.Nobody believes.Its all fool's day after all.Thats why choose to write today.

I want to publicly commit all my aspirations for this year,so that i'll try to follow.Atleast for the sake of answering the readers.I wanted to do lots of things,but lazed around always.Aimlessly running through life.Living with the dream that someday i'll do that.But i never did.This year iam planning to put a time stamp to all my dreams and wishes. I love to have them all come true.

1. I always wanted a cozy-comfy home.Having not decided where to settle,what to do- i keep living in rental places and dont concentrate much on how much they reflect me. If its my own place i'll definetely modify to my tastes and make it my recharge station. So this year, iam buying a house and making it my own.This i plan to do in 6 months time.So by September 2009 i should have my oasis ready. Keep me in check.

2. I dont know to swim. But i love the pool.I frequently go there, sit and dream that someday i'll swim.I even started a class but never continued. This time iam not giving up.I plan to join a class soon, I should be good at it by June end this year.Keep me in check.

3.I want to post weekly twice to my blog.Currently doing once a week.Starting today i plan to post twice weekly.Keep me in check.

4.My blog traffic should be a minimum of 100 hits per day by August 2009.Thats 6 months from now. I should work minimum 1 hour a day everyday exclusively to build my traffic.

5.I plan to improve my relationships by listening more and advising only on request. Check me by end August 2009.I should be writing on how happy iam with my family by end august 2009.

6.I want to get back to my job.That i should do with in the next 4 months.Thats end July 2009.[I wont b looking for a job for another 2 months as my baby is still small for day care].

7.Starting June 09,i should read 1 hour everyday to improve my technical skills for my job.

8.I love to paint.But i dont even know the basics.I need to learn painting. My plan is to learn within the June 2009.Just as swimming.

so that by end june 2009 iam up two skills i love.

Now that i have a plan and i have publicly commited, i think i'll go for it.Keep you posted on my progress.

Happy people,stress free life

Ever imagined how life could be if there is no fear of "what they will think?".
This very phrase has killed ambitions,crushed many dreams of millions and millions of people.And so it will continue in our future generations.
There are very few people who had challenged this and proved their might- thats a seperate topic,
But then, did we ever do this to anybody? have we broken somebody's confidence?

If we are guilty of it, Then we are guilty of the crime of the worst kind.
Killing somebody's dreams is worse then murder deserving punishment of high order.This, we do unknowingly and that too sometimes to people we love the most.If we can keep our relationships simple and clear with people we reduce half of the world's worry.
Dont Judge people:
Many times we see people with a prejudiced opinion.Even before they say or do anything we know what counter action ours will be.We seldom give them a chance.This always increases the tension between people. Many persons who are very comfortable and perform well with others may start making mistakes in our presence-example- critising boss and employee, daughter-in-law and mom-in-law,nagging spouse etc.Its bad for both the persons involved.Nobody gains anything here and productivity and happiness is lost.
Give constructive critism:
Its not that we should leave people to get off with whatever they do so that we are helping to boost their confidence-Cant tell a sis that she is singing beautifully when all she can is shout when she plans to sing on stage.Just that we change the way we correct somebody. Tell them frankly as how to improve rather than pointing their mistakes.Give them credit when they do it as expected.I had tested this many a times successfully,latest being my babysitter.People shine in a constructive environment.They love to show you their accomplishments if you give them a nice space to grow.Try telling your wife you loved that pudding at dinner- she will love cooking for you. A everyday truth.
Keep relationships simple:
Many a times people worry about things that others may think about and try to avoid,try to out do etc.Making it totally a mess.We cannot say we understand a person unless we understand them from their perspective.That is very complex.So why not stop doing all the understanding,mis-understanding etc.. and keep it simple.Just keep it simple- Ask straight,answer straight and do what is to be done harmoniously.
Work for the given situation:
Deal with people for the moment, at any given situation.Dont connect past or future,history or philosophy to it.
Mind ur words:
Never say "you are always like that","you are such a loser" etc.Thats like poisoning them.We do it without our knowledge- mainly to our siblings,spouses and children.Be careful there.

For me,i love people,I try best never to wound anybody's confidence, never to laugh at anybody's dream.If asked i try to give constructive critism.Not that i go about praising everybody- I just try to find whats good in any given situationand if i critise i put a positive tone to it.Flip side of it people get too comfortable with u and take u for granted- it can be handled gracefully and corrected.But up side, we will have very loyal friends,devoted collegues and a very happy family.Sum it- thats paradise!
Its my opinion.My way of doing something good to the people i love.If you have another way of achieving the same,give me a shout.I would love to learn and its very important skill for a happy, stress-free life.

Winning over tragedies

Life is no bed of roses, The long haul called life goes through bright sunny days and dark stromy nightseverybody has to go through it like it or not. Loss of loved ones,property,organs or limbs as in accident,public embarrassment,failure in love,business etc have the ability to pull us down and leave us
emotionally and mentally weak. Sometimes they rob us of all dreams and hopes which are the basic building blocks of life.Once robbed of our basic abilities it takes years even lifetime to reach where we left- The mental damage is far worse than any physical damage.As with any life circumstances,being prepared to cope with big tragedies in life goes a long way in leading a balanced, peaceful life.
here are some means of help-
1.Cry out your heart: Give vent to your feelings. Pain is as needed to our soul as happiness.Going through the pain strengthens our mental fort.Once the feelings flow out of us, we slowly can see what we can salvage.
2.Get out of the environment- Seeing the scene day-by-day tend to overwhelm us with sad thoughts. We need to get away from the environment as quickly
as possible.Either travel somewhere to calmer space,shift place or re-arrange stuff in a totally different way so that the scene of pain disappears from our
mind.
3.Get into some intense activity- start playing sports with lots of physical activity even sex helps.An idle mind is the devil's workshop.Worst way is to pileup
loads of work and give no time to the painful memories.In a way it works well.
4.Start some exciting activity- Did u wanted to join a dance class? a sports club? a dating forum? a swimming contest? go bunge jumping? everybody have
their own list which we never had time to do. Doing it now helps. Key is the excitement will wipe clean if not completely the scars of the pain.
5.Satisfy all your small desires- indulge- Small sparks of happiness can easily trigger a happy attitude sonner or later. So eat that ice-cream or chocolate,
listen to those melodious songs, sleep a bit more,laze around the TV.Eat to your heart's content.Light all those candles and have long warm baths. All stuff
that you otherwise control urself from- do it all.See these small drops fill ur cup of joy slowly.
6.Believe everything in life happens for a purpose: We need to analyse why this happened. What is the lesson that god is trying to teach us through this pain. Then raise in strength with the lesson learnt.
7.Re-direct pain into a painting,poem or a book- Its a great way.Like any emotion pain is great too and powerful.We will be amazed by how much it can do.Turn something you dont like into stuff you love.Only we humans have this great blessing. Iam a big follower of this principle.
8.Stop thinking about it- repetedly remembered stuff remain in memory always,so replace those tragic thoughts with something good.like happy times of the past or future.

Easier said than done, It needs lots of self-control to put these thoughts to work nevertheless the change they provide gives us a new lease of life.because as long as we breathe we have the duty to live, and as long as we live why not make our lifes worthwhile?

10 simple steps to great speeches

Public speaking is one area where were many of us fall short. Being able to hold everybody's attention and convincing them with your views is one skill which is the greatest asset of any individual. The secret to a great speech is confidence- lots of it.
We need to prepare ourselves before hand on the center point of our speech, our emotional stance, keywords, gestures, what image we are trying to project and not the least a glass of water. Attention should also be given to your body language and attitude.These points are elaborated below as 10 steps on how to give great speeches.to summarize-

1. Tell your audiences precisely what you want to say.
2. Keep your comment short around the five second mark and give them a definitive end.
3. Keep your cool. Be yourself.
4. Have a sip, while collecting your thoughts.
5. Leave a small pause before and after important phrases and sentences to let it sink into the audience minds.
6. Never duplicate. Try to be as original as possible.
7. Repeat yourself
8. Rehearse few gestures and include them at appropriate times
9. Smile at the appropriate moments.
10. Stress your message.Repeat your point a few times.

The video below show exactly how-

Tips for great sleep

Sleep time is when our body regains its balance. When we are sleep deprived our appetite,our emotional balance etc fall apart as the hormones that regulate our blood sugar and appetite get out of control.
Getting a better night's sleep will help you lose or maintain your weight more effectively. You'll also feel more even-keeled emotionally and better able to handle the challenges of the day. Your cognitive performance will improve, including memory and creative problem-solving. Getting a good night's sleep is like sharpening your skills to meet the coming day on better grounds. Sometimes this wonderful gift from god eludes us- here are few tips to a great restful night and a double productive day.
Regularize sleeping time- Human mind loves routines, it easily puts routines to autopilot[habits]. So we need to set a time to hit the bed and stick to it everyday.Slowly our body will do it regularly and automatically. Important thing is stick to the schedule. If you dont get sleep read or listen to some slow music laying the bed.Over time it works like magic.
Also dont sleep during day time. Too much of rest is evil for both our body and soul.
Keep the day active- There has to be enough physical activity for our body for a smooth sail. Atleast some form of walking, excercising,playing. We are built for it but our sedentary lifestyles deprive us of all that.We need to run low on gas to refuel sameway we need to run down on energy to replenish by sleeping.
Eat less and two hours before sleeping time. Dont let digestion disturb falling asleep.

Slow down towards the end- Just as we need to be alert and running during the day we need to slow down towards evening. Our Body cannot abruptly move from one state to another without feeling high and dry. If you ask me,starting and ending the day should be done gradually as a ritual to appreciate life. Relax, take in the stary sky and cool breeze. No more hectic activity after 8 pm.
Stop any form of excersise two hours before the sleeping schedule. No emails, and no more TV one hour before the sleeping schedule.
Stop thinking- thoughts as powerful they are have absolute control over the body. Planning, worrying, anticipating everything usually happens as we start staring at the ceiling in the bed. This reduces falling asleep in high probability. Just before going to bed write down whatever u planned for the nextday or things that worry you or your excitement about a date during the week. Once written down delete them temprorily from memory. We can. Just stop thinking. I cant explain how, but believe me its a one step process.Just switch off ur mind.Just do it. Just stick a picture of u sleeping peacefully in ur mind. Dont let any other thoughts disturb you.
Turn down the lights- Light can suppress the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep. so keep the lights low as sleep time approaches.
Create the mood- Any job can be done much better in a congenial environment. Sleeping too is the same. Keeping the bedroom clean and comfy, Having calm soothing pictures stuck around, keeping lights down and playing a slow calm music- woow, nothing more. Goodbye insomnia!

Keeping up our cool

Ever thought if u be in a bomb squad? The clock is ticking. Everyone's counting on you. Which wire should you cut? While most of us never have to deal with the life-or-death dilemmas of a bomb squad, everyday situations, such as job interviews, public speaking, and family emergencies, can be every bit as stressful if we’re not accustomed to dealing with them. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will not only make things go more smoothly immediately, it can also, over time, help you lead a healthier, happier life. Here's how to keep your cool when the pressure mounts.
Steps:
Identify the cause of your stress. Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.
Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. Respond if it really matters,ignore if it is small stuff.

Lack of momentary control is the cause of creating criminals for the first time

How much control do you have over the situation? You can’t control the rain that’s ruining your wedding, but you can control how well you do on your algebra exam tomorrow.
Forget the past.There are lots of ghosts from past that haunt many of us, You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade. Shake it all off. It is beyond your control, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it.
Take control.Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it.
Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, beautiful weather, a flower or by concentrating about the things you have planned for the day.
Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in. Keep a calming natural scenary you love at desk.Imagine being there, enjoying the beauty of the serenity.
Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective.
Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". Getting plenty of exercise also helps you respond better to stress in the long run.
Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.
Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time.
Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go.

Why improve ourselves?

Iam reminded of the story of a wood cutter who used to cut certain amount of wood everyday.As days went on he had to work harder and harder to cut the
same amount of wood.He went on sweting it out harder and harder everyday without stopping to analyse his situation. Until finally oneday when he couldnt do
it any furthur he stopped and found that his axe had become blunt. That was why he couldnt cut as he used to initially. Its the same story with us, We keep on doing what-so-ever without checking how our skills fare. When somebody else with the updated skills comes in and
can do our jobs in a much better fashion we are at loss. Why put ourselves into such bad situations? why be our own enemy?We do not deserve it. Everyone of us is blessed with abundance of abilities why not wake them up.
If a man write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mouse-trap than his neighbor, tho' he build his house in the woods, the world will make
a beaten path to his door says Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Visualize this situation, when companies queue up with offers for you. People take pains to be ur aquitance.Everybody respects you because you are better
than many of them in doing certain things- Is it not cool! Its great! And it is 100% achievable. Just stick this dream tightly to ur heart and work to improve
yourself. We all love to have excellent circumstances, sincere friends,lots of love and respect- If its true just think when can we have such things in life?Only when we are worthy of it.Nothing comes for free in life- give n u'll receive. So if u dream all the rosy dreams then u should make urself ready to enter ur
dreamland. All u need is a little extra effort - sharpening of ur axe.
We deserve better lives, world is full of abundance then why restrict ourselves. Bigger dreams need bigger determination and noteworthy action.Lets start with an improved attitude, our capability grows with our attitude. When we can just be one of the celebrities why restrict ourselves to a mere
onlooker? Its what we decide about us that we become. Dont surrender to laziness.
People many years before us have achieved some unimaginable stuff like aeroplane, mass communication, the internet etc, Who knows we can be the
gateway to some unknown source to save the earth from say climate change or find an alternative food source eradiacting hunger forever? the possibility is
infinite. We are a very unique resource in this world, let that light within u spark to lead way to betterment of life. It is not urself u r are helping, but in the
process helping humanity- the returns- all ur happy dreams of nice circumstance, great friends,love and respect is all ours- forever!Thats why we should improve, we will be surprised to find our unlimited capacity.
Lets do it, no more worries, frustrations or stress. We deserve all the good things life has to offer.Lets make ourselves ready for it.Being average never helps- strech a little more to strike gold.

Prescribing cartoons for adults

Will you believe me if i say cartoons helped me build self-confidence?
Sitting in front of TV with my son means watching cartoons and cartoons alone.
Here in singapore there is this channel called OKTO which my son [hardly 11 months old] is hooked on all day to. The absolutely colourful characters and catchy music attract him a lot.
Being thus hooked on to cartoons i started watching them too. Strangely enough my life was getting enriched everyday.
Most of the characters are on earth saving missions. They display courage, hope and faith as they fight the evil forces of the universe. Except for super heros most of them work as teams and there are none of the negative traits as bickering, name calling, cold war, open war, envy or jelousy that are usually associated to adults working as a team. Instead i can see they potray support and encouragement, helping eachother and fighting it together. All the more making me love these imaginary creatures.
These characters are portrayed as professional and selfless and focussed on just their mission.Even if it warrants them to tradeup their most loved possesion to attain power to keepon fighting- such is the decisiveness and confidence.Nor or they the grim faced protectors as in normal movies, they are just as happy and hearty creatures when not fighting evil. That makes their characters so lovely that they leave me with the longing that if only people can pickup these traits. How lovely will our world be if we had our protectors learn duty and courage from them. Its heartwarming that our children are watching something that helps them pick love over hatred, hope,faith,courage,confidence and friendship over all the negative traits that dominate us adults. Even though imaginary, i respect the characters for filling young minds with positive traits.

A miracle called life!

Life to me just like any average person was just another day of mundane activities, just another timetable to be fulfilled. Days passed in my life just as every other day, waking, working, eatting sleeping. So engrossed was i with my routine that it became my life, it enveloped my being and made me totally indifferent. Not that it was absolutely as gray as it seems, there were the occasional entertainment, a little reading, a little chitchat all that makes up a normal usuallife.

I went on and on with it until one day there arrived a wonderful little angel into my life.

The Angel suddenly opened my eyes to a totally different world. Showed me the wonderful world i live in and most of all cleared my thoughts to see clearly that the world is no longer gray but colourful and wonderful. Planted hope, shattered my indifference and wanted me to give life a 100 percent. I call this little angel 'Rayhaan', my wee little boy.

As i nourish and protect this fragile being, i get to learn more and more about myself. I fully understand what a miracle life is and how little we appreciate it. He showed me the path to happiness in every small thing that he plays with. He inspires me to appreciate life with all its different shades. He reminds me that i too would have brought in this happiness into my parents life just as he does to me. He reminds me that it is no easy joke giving birth and bringing up a new life. He reminds me of the innumerable sacrifices, the tiring days and sleepless nights every parent spends to bringup their off spring. Yet irrespective of all this how we as adults belittle life. How indifferent we tend to be. News of loses of innumerable lives everyday pricks me more deeply now then ever before. Being destructive is very easy, man can do that in no time. But it takes lots of effort and ofcourse the hand of the divine to bring life and to cherish it. These thoughts that never occured tobe before turned my life around. As i aspire to provide the best of everything and dream of the best possible life for my little angel, i constantly am reminded of my parents. Have i been fair to the miracle of life that they gave me? If life is as precious as it seems now to me why did i waste these many years drifting along not making anything out of it? Every human being has to answer this question- lots of effort and sacrifice has gone into ur making- have u done it fair? have u tried to be something worthwhile? Its our duty to our parents and to the divine parent who breathed life into us. We should make our life worth remembering.

Create Chances, dont wait for them.

The Best men are not those who have waited for chances, but who have taken them, beseiged the chance, conquered the chance and made chance their servitor-
Dont know where i read them but they hit me straight and i wanted to share my thoughts.

God sent every human being to this world not with empty hands but very rich. Yes, he blessed his children with bountiful resource called time.And also an elusive power house called will-power. But we children deprive ourselves of all our inheritance and go about all our lives looking for some elusive chances to make the most of ourselves.
Many people in life wait for the right time to do what they want to do. Although its true that being at the right place at the right time helps one quickly attain sucess, There are many who give up their precious resource called time waiting for the right time. There are still worser specimens who do not even know what is that chance that they are waiting for- i too was one among them. People compromise with their miserable lives living through it with a distant dream that some day through someway a fairy god mother will wave her magic wand and present them with a golden chance for which they had been wasting their precious resource called time.Nay! that great day comes extremely rare.
Whatever that we want to do, whatever that we want to be can be done anytime if we use the resources that we are born with wisely- namely TIME and WILL-POWER. Time is our investment, its our basic bank account. What we trade it for is all that makes the difference.
First decide what is that u are waiting for, can u identify it in whatever forms it comes disguised in? because chances dont come straight to ur door step and dressed as u want it to be.
Thats why people are left all their lives waiting for the right chances and never getting one.
If great achievers had been waiting for the right chance, this world of ours would never had witnessed any worthwhile achievements. I say only losers wait for the chance, winners CREATE it. As they forge through the toughest terrain in fulfilling their quest for sucess they carve their own paths, create their own ways or chances to be the best they want to be. Just as a river somehow carves through mountains to achieve its destiny of reaching the ocean, the winners find their own ways. They dont wait for the iron to get hot to strike, they heat the iron first, make it hot and strike to bend it. Use ur time towards planning what u want to be, use ur will-power to stay there tight and find ways to reach ur destiny. Create ur own chances, and when u arrive finally as who u want to be the world will be left wondering how they never saw the chance that gave u that favourable break.

No worries!

Recession is glooming hard over the world and people are losing their jobs, houses and money invested in stock markets. Worst still we hear reports like parents killing themselves and their children after a lose of job.Media is so full of this negative stuff that i just dont want to take it anymore. I love people and cant see them go through all these pains. All i can do is atleast spread a word of hope, offer a comforting word and keep the spirits up. Thats what i want to do through this blog.

I honestly believe no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. That is we always can find ways until we giveup. All we have to do is push aside our worries and think what needs to be done next. This mental maturity comes only when the mind has been filled with positive thoughts. Tough times dont lost forever. We need to plant this thought deep into our minds. The toughest time comes just before a reward- Just need to sit tight and let it pass. Life is too precious to be giveup so easily. Agreed that at times life becomes empty and meaningless draining away every ounce of our mental strength. Failure has the ability to do that. Loss of something we care the most may drive us insane but we need to remember every adversity brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage. When god closes one door on us, he opens four more. All we have to do is keep our eyes and mind open and crushing the evil called worry.

Worries never do good by any means, they just cloud our thinking process and blind us to any opportunities available. So please dont be worried of the past or the future. Just concentrate on the present and make it worth remembering.

This is what the great achievers of the past have told us- given in their own words

It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly. -Isaac Asimov

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.

-Washington Irving