How to stop being miserable

There is no stopping our misery as swine flu,ressesion etc run rampant multiplying our everyday's stress,
below are few simple ways to stop our misery and improve our happiness.

1.Stop making issues big.Dont add your imagination to it.Big problems overwhelm and prevent you from solving them.

2.Dont think of it always.It will spoil your mood and prevent u from solving it.Stop being afraid of it.

3.Stop the blame game.Dont blame other people for it.neither should you blame yourself.It only serves to increase your pain.

4.Avoid complaining about it to everybody around you.

5.Dont avoid it and let your problems grow big.A stich in time saves nine.

6.Look at it from another perspective. This may provide you with fresh ideas to solve your problem.

7.Look for help.Look for a solution.There will be people who would have faced the same issues as you.Or there might be professionals specialized at tackling your issue.Never hesitate to look for help.

Living life today for a regret free tomorrow

The other day i was watching the movie 17 again. It was fun but got me thinking.There are many times in life where we want to go back in time and correct our mistakes. I can say with absolute confidence everybody has this secret desire.If only we could go back and start saving early, go back and choose a different career,life partner etc.. etc..Its true everybody wishes for it.But oh no! that is impossible.Although we love this fantasy with all our hearts that magic is just not possible. But what is possible is try to make the most of this day.THE PRESENT HOUR,MINUTE.
I know very well i cannot come back to this minute again and re-do anything- Hence i constantly keep thinking "what i can do to make this minute great? what i should do now so that i do not want to RE-DO it anytime?". This is very important.These questions show us so many possibilities- Although we cannot do everything so very perfect as we may lack the extra information that future brings, we still can try to give it our best.So that its worth our invaluable time.
Most of the time we look back at our past and grieve about things not done well or missed opportunities and look at the future with worries.Doing this we end up losing our most valuable possesion- our present.This day,this minute- i just want to make it beautiful.I just want it worth remembering later.I have no idea what future brings my way,nor do i want to think and regret about all my roads not taken.I have learnt through hard experience that i should live in today and thats what makes me feel happy and satisfied.I try to give my best today and just leave it at that. I have this quote by Ralph.W.Emerson hung up at my desk
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

Throw away worries!

Believe it or not the prime emotion of this world is worry.Everybody is worried about something.And some worry about everything.It is such a pity.People lose a lot of time and energy worrying.Worrying about things that may go wrong is the funniest thing people do.People phantomize even minor obstacles and become their own enemies.This
funniest thing pushes many into such depressing thoughts that lead people to commit suicide etc.This is very annoying.It hurts me to see people sacrificing their own lives to the demons of worry created by their own minds.But those who have lived past their worries and faced the situation know that it was not as bad as they thought.Reality seldom is different from our imaginary difficulties.
Life is like that.We will live through many things.We live past broken relationships,we live after going through bankruptcy.Yes, we still live.Moral- We will somehow live through it.Mankind is blessed with many good emotions like will-power,determination etc.So we will survive,Provided we face our
worries and look through them.Stay there tight and let it pass.It will soon be over.Whenever worries creap into my mind i just ask myself- ok,what next will i
do if this worstcase scenario happens?.I just keep few options open.Like if this thing happens can i salvage anything from the situation? If not, how bad its
going to be and how i can handle that.Thats it.When i see my answers to above questions most of my worries look light.This is one way of throwing worries
away.
Another way is by changing our perspective of any given situation.A change in perspective leaves us with many open doors to explore.Endless solutions
spring in if we could look at the object of our worry in different angles.
I do not say that we should not worry at all.I definetely hate the lazy,carefree person so called worry free stinking stereo types.Worry is good if it pushes us
into constructive action.But we should not get obsessed with worrying.That is the catch.Worrying makes us look at our problems with a magnifying glass.If
we stop doing it our problems would look manageable.That will give us confidence in finding a solution to the problem.Worries stand in the way of our
progress,Throw them away.Walking uphill with a ton of stones is much easier than facing problems with worries.

You may also like Winning-over-tragedies

and Happy-people,stress-free-life

Happy people,stress free life

Ever imagined how life could be if there is no fear of "what they will think?".
This very phrase has killed ambitions,crushed many dreams of millions and millions of people.And so it will continue in our future generations.
There are very few people who had challenged this and proved their might- thats a seperate topic,
But then, did we ever do this to anybody? have we broken somebody's confidence?

If we are guilty of it, Then we are guilty of the crime of the worst kind.
Killing somebody's dreams is worse then murder deserving punishment of high order.This, we do unknowingly and that too sometimes to people we love the most.If we can keep our relationships simple and clear with people we reduce half of the world's worry.
Dont Judge people:
Many times we see people with a prejudiced opinion.Even before they say or do anything we know what counter action ours will be.We seldom give them a chance.This always increases the tension between people. Many persons who are very comfortable and perform well with others may start making mistakes in our presence-example- critising boss and employee, daughter-in-law and mom-in-law,nagging spouse etc.Its bad for both the persons involved.Nobody gains anything here and productivity and happiness is lost.
Give constructive critism:
Its not that we should leave people to get off with whatever they do so that we are helping to boost their confidence-Cant tell a sis that she is singing beautifully when all she can is shout when she plans to sing on stage.Just that we change the way we correct somebody. Tell them frankly as how to improve rather than pointing their mistakes.Give them credit when they do it as expected.I had tested this many a times successfully,latest being my babysitter.People shine in a constructive environment.They love to show you their accomplishments if you give them a nice space to grow.Try telling your wife you loved that pudding at dinner- she will love cooking for you. A everyday truth.
Keep relationships simple:
Many a times people worry about things that others may think about and try to avoid,try to out do etc.Making it totally a mess.We cannot say we understand a person unless we understand them from their perspective.That is very complex.So why not stop doing all the understanding,mis-understanding etc.. and keep it simple.Just keep it simple- Ask straight,answer straight and do what is to be done harmoniously.
Work for the given situation:
Deal with people for the moment, at any given situation.Dont connect past or future,history or philosophy to it.
Mind ur words:
Never say "you are always like that","you are such a loser" etc.Thats like poisoning them.We do it without our knowledge- mainly to our siblings,spouses and children.Be careful there.

For me,i love people,I try best never to wound anybody's confidence, never to laugh at anybody's dream.If asked i try to give constructive critism.Not that i go about praising everybody- I just try to find whats good in any given situationand if i critise i put a positive tone to it.Flip side of it people get too comfortable with u and take u for granted- it can be handled gracefully and corrected.But up side, we will have very loyal friends,devoted collegues and a very happy family.Sum it- thats paradise!
Its my opinion.My way of doing something good to the people i love.If you have another way of achieving the same,give me a shout.I would love to learn and its very important skill for a happy, stress-free life.

Winning over tragedies

Life is no bed of roses, The long haul called life goes through bright sunny days and dark stromy nightseverybody has to go through it like it or not. Loss of loved ones,property,organs or limbs as in accident,public embarrassment,failure in love,business etc have the ability to pull us down and leave us
emotionally and mentally weak. Sometimes they rob us of all dreams and hopes which are the basic building blocks of life.Once robbed of our basic abilities it takes years even lifetime to reach where we left- The mental damage is far worse than any physical damage.As with any life circumstances,being prepared to cope with big tragedies in life goes a long way in leading a balanced, peaceful life.
here are some means of help-
1.Cry out your heart: Give vent to your feelings. Pain is as needed to our soul as happiness.Going through the pain strengthens our mental fort.Once the feelings flow out of us, we slowly can see what we can salvage.
2.Get out of the environment- Seeing the scene day-by-day tend to overwhelm us with sad thoughts. We need to get away from the environment as quickly
as possible.Either travel somewhere to calmer space,shift place or re-arrange stuff in a totally different way so that the scene of pain disappears from our
mind.
3.Get into some intense activity- start playing sports with lots of physical activity even sex helps.An idle mind is the devil's workshop.Worst way is to pileup
loads of work and give no time to the painful memories.In a way it works well.
4.Start some exciting activity- Did u wanted to join a dance class? a sports club? a dating forum? a swimming contest? go bunge jumping? everybody have
their own list which we never had time to do. Doing it now helps. Key is the excitement will wipe clean if not completely the scars of the pain.
5.Satisfy all your small desires- indulge- Small sparks of happiness can easily trigger a happy attitude sonner or later. So eat that ice-cream or chocolate,
listen to those melodious songs, sleep a bit more,laze around the TV.Eat to your heart's content.Light all those candles and have long warm baths. All stuff
that you otherwise control urself from- do it all.See these small drops fill ur cup of joy slowly.
6.Believe everything in life happens for a purpose: We need to analyse why this happened. What is the lesson that god is trying to teach us through this pain. Then raise in strength with the lesson learnt.
7.Re-direct pain into a painting,poem or a book- Its a great way.Like any emotion pain is great too and powerful.We will be amazed by how much it can do.Turn something you dont like into stuff you love.Only we humans have this great blessing. Iam a big follower of this principle.
8.Stop thinking about it- repetedly remembered stuff remain in memory always,so replace those tragic thoughts with something good.like happy times of the past or future.

Easier said than done, It needs lots of self-control to put these thoughts to work nevertheless the change they provide gives us a new lease of life.because as long as we breathe we have the duty to live, and as long as we live why not make our lifes worthwhile?

Wooow,Peace at last!

Its Possible! This world would be a great place to live if love like this prevails everyday :-)

Tips for great sleep

Sleep time is when our body regains its balance. When we are sleep deprived our appetite,our emotional balance etc fall apart as the hormones that regulate our blood sugar and appetite get out of control.
Getting a better night's sleep will help you lose or maintain your weight more effectively. You'll also feel more even-keeled emotionally and better able to handle the challenges of the day. Your cognitive performance will improve, including memory and creative problem-solving. Getting a good night's sleep is like sharpening your skills to meet the coming day on better grounds. Sometimes this wonderful gift from god eludes us- here are few tips to a great restful night and a double productive day.
Regularize sleeping time- Human mind loves routines, it easily puts routines to autopilot[habits]. So we need to set a time to hit the bed and stick to it everyday.Slowly our body will do it regularly and automatically. Important thing is stick to the schedule. If you dont get sleep read or listen to some slow music laying the bed.Over time it works like magic.
Also dont sleep during day time. Too much of rest is evil for both our body and soul.
Keep the day active- There has to be enough physical activity for our body for a smooth sail. Atleast some form of walking, excercising,playing. We are built for it but our sedentary lifestyles deprive us of all that.We need to run low on gas to refuel sameway we need to run down on energy to replenish by sleeping.
Eat less and two hours before sleeping time. Dont let digestion disturb falling asleep.

Slow down towards the end- Just as we need to be alert and running during the day we need to slow down towards evening. Our Body cannot abruptly move from one state to another without feeling high and dry. If you ask me,starting and ending the day should be done gradually as a ritual to appreciate life. Relax, take in the stary sky and cool breeze. No more hectic activity after 8 pm.
Stop any form of excersise two hours before the sleeping schedule. No emails, and no more TV one hour before the sleeping schedule.
Stop thinking- thoughts as powerful they are have absolute control over the body. Planning, worrying, anticipating everything usually happens as we start staring at the ceiling in the bed. This reduces falling asleep in high probability. Just before going to bed write down whatever u planned for the nextday or things that worry you or your excitement about a date during the week. Once written down delete them temprorily from memory. We can. Just stop thinking. I cant explain how, but believe me its a one step process.Just switch off ur mind.Just do it. Just stick a picture of u sleeping peacefully in ur mind. Dont let any other thoughts disturb you.
Turn down the lights- Light can suppress the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep. so keep the lights low as sleep time approaches.
Create the mood- Any job can be done much better in a congenial environment. Sleeping too is the same. Keeping the bedroom clean and comfy, Having calm soothing pictures stuck around, keeping lights down and playing a slow calm music- woow, nothing more. Goodbye insomnia!

Keeping up our cool

Ever thought if u be in a bomb squad? The clock is ticking. Everyone's counting on you. Which wire should you cut? While most of us never have to deal with the life-or-death dilemmas of a bomb squad, everyday situations, such as job interviews, public speaking, and family emergencies, can be every bit as stressful if we’re not accustomed to dealing with them. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will not only make things go more smoothly immediately, it can also, over time, help you lead a healthier, happier life. Here's how to keep your cool when the pressure mounts.
Steps:
Identify the cause of your stress. Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.
Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. Respond if it really matters,ignore if it is small stuff.

Lack of momentary control is the cause of creating criminals for the first time

How much control do you have over the situation? You can’t control the rain that’s ruining your wedding, but you can control how well you do on your algebra exam tomorrow.
Forget the past.There are lots of ghosts from past that haunt many of us, You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade. Shake it all off. It is beyond your control, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it.
Take control.Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it.
Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, beautiful weather, a flower or by concentrating about the things you have planned for the day.
Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in. Keep a calming natural scenary you love at desk.Imagine being there, enjoying the beauty of the serenity.
Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective.
Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". Getting plenty of exercise also helps you respond better to stress in the long run.
Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.
Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time.
Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go.

Meditate,Stay focussed!

Most failures in life are attributed to the lose of focus from our goal. After deciding our goal our best shot at it is keep it in our focus. Practising our mind to keep the concentration comes only as a habit.Meditation is one tool which has a proven track record in increasing our concentration or focus levels.There is no doubt that increased levels of focus and concentration can do wonders to our lives. Being able to focus on current task without distractions, without interrupting thoughts would make our productivity levels jump. I found an article on the net which has a simple but great technique which i would like to share.

Focussed Meditation Technique:

Choose a locationChoose a place where you can meditate without distractions - no phones, no people, less noise etc. The idea is to avoid as many distractions as possible. Over a period of time however, with enough practice you will be able to meditate whenever and wherever you want.
Choose your sitting positionWhile crossed legged position is the most commonly used sitting position, it is not compulsory. Sit in a position you are comfortable in. In which you can relax and not fidget too much.
You can also try standing and sleeping positions if you want to. Standing for long period of time is very uncomfortable. And in sleeping position, the risk is of actually falling asleep.
Choose any objectChoose any object you would like to focus upon. A candle flame, a rose, an idol are commonly used. But you need not be limited to these. A pen, a ball, a tree, a plant, a book, a bottle, a picture … anything that catches your fancy will do. Only conditions are:
a. The object should be at eye level - now you don’t want to strain your neck, do you?
b. The object should be of adequate size - not so small that you have to squint and not as large as a cupboard or wall. The idea is to focus on something specific.
Using eyes - visual sense is very common. Feel free to try out auditory, tactile and olfactory senses as well. I find focussing with eyes on a concrete object easier. It is very difficult to focus with help of other senses on scent of incense, touch of wind, music etc.
Focus the objectFocus the object. Observe it. And keep observing it. Concentrate on it with everything that you have got. Concentrate with your entire mind. Don’t think about anything. Let your mind be thought free. Just see the object.
Keep focussingIt is all right to lose focus. If you find getting lost in thoughts or getting distracted, don’t beat yourself up. Simply acknowledge you lost focus and re-focus. Thinking about how you lost focus or can’t focus is also not focussing and is getting distracted.
That’s it. This might sound easy but it’s not. If you would like to see how much have you progressed, focus for same amount of time everyday. Everytime you lose focus, make a mark on a piece of paper. Your goal is to be mark free.